Washington, D.C. – The world has never stood closer to the brink of all-out war than it does today.
What happened on October 17th between The United States and Russia wasn’t strategy. It was impulsive. Stupid. Shortsighted. A blunder of historic scale.
After months of brutal attrition and economic strangulation, Russia was beginning to feel the consequences of its war. Ukraine had struck hard, targeting critical oil infrastructure—the lifeblood of Russia’s economy. Refineries burned. Pipelines failed. The walls were closing in.
And just when collapse was finally within reach, Putin picked up the phone. He didn’t offer a treaty. He didn’t offer a ceasefire. He didn’t even offer terms. He offered a smile. And Trump took the call.
Like a dog trained to bark on command, Trump wagged his tail and rushed to the phone. The call meant everything to him—more than strategy, more than peace, more than the interests of United States.
And what did The United States get in return? No progress. No guarantee’s Not even a piece of paper Just words.
Words of a deal that doesn’t exist. A wink. A nod. A pat on the head for playing the fool.
But Trump didn’t care. Because for him, the real reward wasn’t a diplomatic breakthrough—it was validation.
He got to hear Putin say he was a good boy. And for Trump… that was enough.
“I ain’t seen a man switch sides that fast since my cousin Rickey got caught stealing cable,” said Charlene Foster, 63 a retired chiropractor from Atlanta. “One minute Trump talkin’ about sanctions and strength, next minute he giggling like a schoolgirl in a prom dress. Putin called and this man answered like, ‘Yes Daddy?”
Charlene continued, “What kinda foreign policy is that? You supposed to be PRESIDENT, not the world’s most expensive booty call. He out here embarrassing us like Family Guy at a funeral. You don’t go from tough talk to ‘please like me’ in a single ringtone.”
“Trump got played harder than the baseline in a Bernard Edwards track. He really thought Putin was gonna hand him a Nobel Prize wrapped in a hug,” said Tony Ramier 31 auto mechanic from San Antonio, Texas. “Man, that wasn’t no peace deal—that was a catfish swipe on plenty of fish. We went from 28 points to 2 because Russia got tired halfway through. They sent over the plan like, ‘Here’s something stupid enough for Trump to sign.’ And Trump? That fool signed it twice! I’ve seen better deals come outta Chinese scams.”
“You know what this is? This is like when ‘that friend’ shows up to the cookout talking about, ‘I got a startup idea,’ and it’s just a used toaster with glitter on it,” said Darnell Hicks 35 taxi driver from Baltimore. “Trump really walked into the Alaska Summit like he was The Godfather, and Putin treated him like a mall elf. Sat in his chair, whispered some nonsense, and Trump out here like, ‘Wow. He respects me.’”
And it didn’t end there.
The so-called 28-point peace plan?
Sources confirm it was written by Russia, slapped into a translator, and emailed over with a “lol, let’s see if they fall for this.”
They did. Only two points made it to print.
The rest? Lost in ChatGBT spaghetti. Literal nonsense. One section was reportedly about wheat farming and synchronized swimming.
And Trump still called it “brilliant.”
Then came the Middle East parade.
Trump flew in, got the golden carpet, walked into the ceasefire ceremony between Israel and Hamas like he was Moses, signed the deal, gave a speech, got a standing ovation. He even got to speak in The Knesset.
Then he left. No follow-up. No press briefing. No plan. He vanished like your rent money on payday.
Trump got the applause. He got the glory. But he didn’t finish the work.