Beijing, China – China. What can really be said at this point?
At the close of 2025, they announced their economy had grown by 8%—a number so inflated it made even Wall Street analysts blink. They claimed a record-breaking trade surplus of $1 trillion, the highest in their nation’s history.
And somehow, in the final month of 2025—December—they said they did it again. Another trillion. One month. No explanation.
It’s a strange claim, considering American citizens barely participated in the holiday season. Retail traffic was at a ten-year low. Online shopping dipped. Ports were empty. Yet somehow, according to the CCP, business was booming.
China also reported their national unemployment rate at 2.9%, with youth unemployment just above 5%. Another “historic low.”
But when independent observers ask for data, not a word. When businesses shut down or disappear, there’s no records. And when entire provinces fall behind on wages, the numbers stay the same.
They’ve been running their mouths on every channel that will let them.
First came the chip. China claimed it had developed a new domestic semiconductor that could rival Nvidia’s most advanced GPUs. No independent tests. No tech benchmarks. Just big talk backed by a government shill.
Then came the radar system. The PLA bragged they had developed a new platform capable of detecting any enemy aircraft—even stealth. According to them, invisibility is now obsolete. And of course, we’re just supposed to take their word for it.
But the real punchline? The CCP stood up and announced to the world that China is a Democracy. Not just any democracy— a better one than anything the West could ever produce. That’s what they said. With a straight face.
And just to top it off, they introduced the so-called “61 missile,” boasting it’s more advanced than anything The United States has ever developed—or ever will. No tests. No footage. No accountability. Just a parade and a few pictures.
For all the noise, almost nobody outside China actually believes them. Not the investors. Not the analysts. Not even their own people.
“They said their economy grew 8%? Yeah right,” said Tyrone Wallace, 43, a city worker from Houston. “Even crypto scammers couldn’t fake these number that bad. China cooks the books harder than a Thanksgiving grandma tryna impress her church friends. You want me to believe they cured youth unemployment too? Bro, their youth ain’t got no jobs—they just disappeared them from the reports like they do everyone else!”
“They said their new chip beats Nvidia?” said Jamal Rivers, 28, eclectic technician from Biloxi, Mississippi. “Aye hommie, their graphics cards still melt when you open Microsoft Word. China’s processors can’t even handle Minesweeper. They held a press conference to unveil their new tech and rolled out... a folding table with a bedsheet over it. I swear I thought they were gonna sell me some of those magical Chinese healing herbs. Then some dude points to a poster board with arrows and cartoon lightning bolts like he’s pitching a time machine in a high school talent show.
“Their ‘democracy’ is so fake, even the mannequins in their voting booths flinch,” said Ethel Brackens, 74, treasurer from East St. Louis.“They got one name on the ballot and six cameras on your face while you check the box. Then they smile and say ‘See? Better than the West!’ Yeah, ok. That’s not a vote, that’s a hostage situation. You’d get more honesty from a televangelist selling you Jesus water.”
How can anyone take the CCP seriously when everything that comes out of China is fake?
The food? Fake — half plastic, half paint thinner. The government stats? Fake — written before the year even starts. The money? Fake — propped up by imaginary exports, empty skyscrapers, and a Chinese nightmare. The products? Fake — one drop of water and the whole thing dissolves like cotton candy. The buildings? Tofu dreg towers that crumble in a stiff breeze. And the CCP? Pigs in a silk suit pretending they invented civilization.
Maybe it’s time to scrap the whole rotten structure. Replace the shitty CCP with the ROC and give China a shot at being real again — because right now, everything the CCP says is fake.